Give Blood

I gave blood yesterday and for the first time ever, it made me cry...

I have been donating blood since I was 17 and a blood drive came through my high school my senior year. I would like to say that means I have given quite a bit, but.... I like tattoos. And in the state of California, you have have to wait a year after getting one (I learned at my appointment that you no longer have to wait a year. California is now officially a regulated state, so tattoos are questioned the same as piercings) so whenever I was planning to get a tattoo and I was close to a year, I would wait a bit longer so I could donate at a local blood drive first. Last year, I needed a tattoo and it had become extremely important; it was for my brother and I wanted it before his memorial at the end of January. It somehow snuck in that I had passed a year from my last tattoo and donating blood first was suddenly important to me as well.

In my emotional state, I never thought about what I was doing or why as I sat in that chair with a needle in my arm. I had given blood before. It was just something I did.

Last week, I realized the anniversary of my brother's memorial had just passed, which meant my tattoo was a year old. And I made an appointment at one of the local blood centers. I joked with the woman that was going to be taking care of me while I was there and was able to talk with her a bit more than I'm used to because I was the only one donating at that time.

As with most things about me, my veins are complicated.. they're crooked. So I usually leave it up them which arm to use, but tell them most prefer my right arm, which is where that year old tattoo is.

She asked about the tattoo as she was taping tubes to it. I told her it was for my brother.

And while she was busy getting everything going, I was watching cars move through the parking lot and realized why this was so important. Last year, I think it was a subconscious thought that comforted me; my brother had just been in an accident and even though he didn't make it to a hospital, it made me feel better that I was part of a program that could have helped. Yesterday, there was even more to it; I have met many new friends through the wheelchair division at races and the adaptive sports clinics, and while some have gone into the wheelchair due to health reasons, an increasing number of those I meet were in an accident of some kind. It's one of those things that you know happens, but it doesn't really hit home until it's someone you know... and now I know many.

Donating blood is now personal for me. Rather than just knowing blood saves lives, I now know that blood may have saved someone I know.. or will one day..... or could have helped my brother. And when I got back in my car yesterday, I found that there were tears in my eyes. Happy tears. The kind that come when you feel like you have done something really good for others and, in turn, something good for yourself.