And we begin again..

I hated 2014 as a whole. It was a year of loss and healing, of more downs than ups, of dark clouds hovering around me. By the end, I had finally found the strength to stand up and make things better for myself. I proclaimed things would be better from then on.

And they have been.

When I took that moment to choose a better outlook, a brighter view, a bigger heart, I changed everything. I was able to let go of the toxic people and things in my life, relaxing my tortured heart and soothing the chaos in my head. I was able to finally settle back into my own choices and discover what I truly wanted to do, the goal I wanted to set for myself rather than what someone else told me I wanted.

Getting into a wheelchair, then immediately into a racing chair with a marathon goal was just dumb... to put it simply. I mean, it helped to have that goal to have something to work towards, but it was too much, too soon. Unfortunately, the emotional state I was in after that marathon pushed me to just keep going on the path I already knew.. and I spent my year of healing simultaneously pushing towards another marathon and visiting the emergency room. My body was screaming at me to stop in every way it could find, but I was too stubborn and broken to listen. I pushed on. I caused more damage.

And so this year, my goal was to dip my toe into the world of triathlons. And I was going to do it to keep myself well. I created a schedule and I chose two goal races; the California Sprint Triathlon and the San Diego Challenge Triathlon with the Challenged Athletes Foundation. I followed my schedule well and I advanced just as I hoped.. I even stayed out of the emergency room! I got stronger, but I also realized when I needed breaks, which was a huge step up and probably my greatest lesson.

During all this, I got to know my new circle of friends better, made some great new friends, got more involved in some groups, and started playing new sports. I tried more new things in this last year than I have in a long time.

2015 was beautiful, so rather than tomorrow being a new beginning, I choose to continue on. I choose to keep advancing, both physically and emotionally. I choose to work on making myself stronger again once my doctor says I can (been on a break since the triathlon, then starting an acupuncture program.. more on that soon!). I choose to listen to my body so it doesn't have to scream at me again. I choose to keep using the smile I finally rediscovered about a year ago.

Like this one. This one is my favorite!