Acupuncture Report

I have been avoiding acupuncture for years. After much research, I didn't entirely believe it would help me and since this is something that involves my help to work, I never did it. Then I relocated to the Alameda County Health System and began seeing my new doctor at the Hayward Wellness Center, where they believe in natural medicine above handing out prescriptions, and she wanted me to try it. My pain levels and downward slide were at a peak, so I agreed and was put on the list.

Three months later, my name came up on the list and I would be starting up soon.. this was back in October, but we postponed it a bit because my triathlon was coming up, then a couple more weeks because of scheduling. I ended up starting mid-November for six-week program focused on pain management, specifically in my hip. You know what they say about the best laid plans, right? Yeah. As with most of my medical experiences, things got complicated...

Appointment #1: The first patient of the morning had been late, but the doctor was trying to catch up and I ended up not waiting too long. He told me about the program, asked some background questions about me and my leg; most interesting was whether I leaned more towards depression or happiness, anxiety or worry. I told him definitely worry and I naturally lean towards depression, but I choose to lean towards happiness. In answering that way, I noted that he was actually interested in answers and understanding them, and he liked that I answered his questions entirely.

His biggest emphasis was that we were working together; he could do everything just right, but if I wasn't right there with him it wasn't going to do much good. My biggest emphasis was I halfway thought this was crystal-gripping nonsense, but I was willing to have an open mind and do what I needed... if this was going to help me, I would try my hardest to get there.

Then he said no sports. I told him I didn't like him anymore.

He explained that we needed to have an "environment of healing" because we needed to go to an extreme in letting everything calm down and divert the path my body was currently on. Unable to argue, I agreed and tried to negotiate; volleyball and basketball were out, but I could still walk, run in my chair, bike, and swim as long as I was entirely "mindful of my movements".. although he preferred yoga, tai chi, and/or swimming.

In deciding on my first treatment, he said "you seem to be okay with piercings". Uh yeaaaahh..... He explained that you can access much of the body by the ear (kind of like foot reflexology) and the needles he was going to use could stay in until my appointment the next week. He also said these "piercings" were starting to be used extensively in the military because they are easy to put in and just leave them until they fall out. I got five of them and between each one, I had to walk down the hall to "move the energy" and he got the first view of my horrible limp. I explained that swinging the leg out was more comfortable and caused less pain in the long run. By the time they were all in, my pain level went down a notch and one of them helped a little bit with my balance.

The In Between: The piercings did help with the pain... but that top one caused twinges when I hit it, which turned out to be often. When I got home, my dad (who thinks all of this is nonsense) questioned why there were things in my ears to help my leg, then likened it to putting a cat in a paper bag and swinging it over my head. And acted it out for me. Funny as hell, but didn't help that open-mind thing.

Appointment #2: Encouraged by the pain help, I got needles in my hip, down the IT band, and in my calf. When he was done, he very calmly announced "okay, let's try some electricity." I looked at him wide eyed and told him he needed to work on his segues. In answering my lingering questions, I was happy to note that he made sure to answer them in terms of chi, then in general/scientific terms.. he also had no problem saying acupuncture is weird (one of those needles caused a twinge in my side)... and I respect that. It helped that he didn't expect me to be into the chi aspect, but still gave me the connection to it.

Those wires in the photo are my electricity. If you've used a tens unit, it feels like that, but a bit more intense. One was turned up too much and it made me scream, he turned up the dials a little slower after that.

The In Between: Surprisingly, the pain went down a notch and I wasn't quite as unstable as before. It was all very slight, but in my world, any improvement is a huge step forward.

Appointment #3: "I'm getting a little antsy/anxious with no activity." He said I could still do yoga and tai chi. "Those aren't sports, those are extras!"

Encouraged by the improvements though, he celebrated with more needles! Eleven this time. And he made me scream quite a bit. He explained something about finding my chi and I started laughing. I told him about a comedian, John Pinette, who talks about getting acupuncture and was convinced chi was a Chinese word for scream. As he finished today's electricity, he told me to relax and apologized for the kid screaming in the room next door. And in my dry humor, I said "someone got his chi.."

When the nurse started pulling needles, I could hear her counting and thanked her for it... she laughed and said most people thanked her for that. I screamed again when she pulled the needle from my ankle and I told her that one had been fine until she took it out. She offered to put it back in. Look close in the picture, it's stuck in the middle of the heart... that tattoo has had nothing but problems and I warned the doctor about it. It ended up be the first one to bleed a little.

The In Between: Over the next few days, I got some improvement; the pain moved down a little and while my limp was still horrible, I was able to start moving back to more of a forward gait rather than the side swing. Then my knee flared horribly, threw off everything else, and I was miserable by the time my next appointment came around.

Appointment #4: Encouraged by temporary good, then the ensuing flare up, he gave me mooooore needles aaaaand electricity. He put needles in my hip, down my IT band, and all the spots in my knee that made me scream. Then scream again. Those two in the front of my knee forced me to proclaim I did not like him anymore. He apologized, then brought out extra wires. He also added on a bit more time.

The In Between: By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was lay down. Healing is exhausting and I ended up falling asleep for much of the day. The only improvement was calming down the flare up in my knee, so at least I wasn't miserable.

Appointment #5: We did more of a progress report before the needles, where I said it was helping how I walked and was reducing the sharpness of the pain, but not the pain levels. I also brought up a concern that's been bothering me for the last couple years; I don't feel pain until it's at a level higher than what I feel on a regular basis. My examples were all my mystery bruises, the knot on the back of my hand that I didn't remember smashing a couple days before, and a few of my injuries a couple years ago that should have been minor, but landed me in the ER.

This changed the conversation entirely. He explained that traumas can close our minds (or cause an energy block) because we choose not to think about it in protection or in response to not being helped, but it ends up costing so much energy to keep those doors closed that it manifests into any number of things. I told him how I consciously began ignoring the pain when I was a teenager and none of the doctors or tests could figure out what was wrong.

He said there are five traumas and I didn't need to tell him about them, I just had to answer yes or no to each one; physical trauma, physical abuse, emotional trauma, sexual abuse, medical trauma. I answered yes to four and ultimately changed the no to a grudging yes.

My prior treatment was now on hold because he wanted to switch to the 7 dragons treatment, and gave me a loose diagnosis of PTSD. At this appointment I would get my first seven dragons to fight seven demons; this one was "internal" and was basically described a hard reset to take care of all that rewiring I've been doing since I was 13. He warned me that some people experience nightmares or other psychological symptoms. And since we were adding this in, he would tack on two more treatments. I agreed to both. These were my seven internal dragons; one in my sternum, two in my belly, one in each thigh, and one in each ankle.

The In Between: No nightmares, no improvements, but also no flare ups.

Appointment #6: He was surprised, but strangely impressed that I had no side effects. We ended up talking about Star Wars; I had just seen the new one and told him I wasn't a big fan of the series, but I thought the new one was cool, and he told me about seeing the originals in the theater and he was looking forward to taking his nephews to the new one to start up the new generation.

This time was external dragons; one in the top of my head, two in the back of my neck, two in my lower back, and one in each ankle. Internal was a reset, external would be a recalibration. I was warned again about potential nightmares and such.

And before he left the room, he said "may the dragons be with you." (best doctor quote ever!)

The In Between: A few days later, I was hit with severe depression and visions of the past hidden traumas. Basically all those doors flew open and reminded me all the things I had chosen to forget. Unfortunately, there are things you just can't forget, so you bury it as deep as possible and hope it never makes it out into the light. It hit me all at once, leading to two and a half days of hiding away from everyone. I finally put out a plea on Facebook to help kick myself out of the house. While I did a guided meditation to calm my sudden round of tears and doubts, my friends banded together and encouraged me to get out and do something normal. It helped to break that current cycle, which is all I need sometimes to pull myself out of the dark.. I fell pretty far this time (the first day I had thought I was sick, so I was able slip farther than usual before I realized what was happening) so I did take a while to climb back, but I was able to have some good conversations about what I was experiencing and letting it go rather than hiding it again. On top of all that, I became more aware of all the pains and where they were coming from.

Appointment #7: "I don't know what you did to me, but take it back!" I told him about the depression, not sleeping, and being able to pinpoint everything that hurt. We talked a bit about the traumas and how I felt like they built up because I stayed quiet, thinking no one was going to help me anyway. When I told him about my call for help, and talking to a couple friends and my sister-in-law, he pointed out that despite everything that felt horrible I had succeeded in changing the pattern; when I was younger, I didn't trust that anyone would help me so I didn't talk (much at all), this time I had enough faith to call out and believe there would be some help, which there was. From so many directions (still thank you all for that!).

I then detailed everything that hurt (from my neck to my feet) and gave the pain level for each one... a huge step as before I would just be able to give an overall number. The pain was also moving out of the assumed spots to where it actually was.

So we went back to needles for the hip pain. You'll notice it's almost like that first session again, and he noted that some of the sensitive spots weren't as sensitive anymore.

The In Between: It seemed like he caused a big flare up in my whole leg (more on that later)... everything hurt. More and in new locations, and I just didn't know how to deal with it. I slept a little better, but found it hard to wake up.

Appointment #8: I told him about the flare up and we went down the list again about how much everything hurt. He decided to do another treatment, but turn down the intensity of the electricity because he thought keeping it where I had been was now too much. Then we played a fun game of finding the point where I could feel it and keep it at a comfortable level.

The In Between: As my leg calmed down, I realized he hadn't caused a flare up, I had simply been thrown head first into the reality that is my leg.

Appointment #9: I told him about my revelation and proved it to him by describing the pain in my leg piece by piece as he typed quickly into the computer and asked questions. As a progress report though, I told him function had improved immensely, the pain level was the same (but the quality was different), and weight bearing was a problem (I could no longer walk unassisted farther than a few steps and my cane was my new best friend). He asked about progress on the traumas and I told him I was doing better, sleeping a little more, and still talking, but still having some trust issues. I showed him a drawing I had done and told him that had been the biggest help of all; he loved the drawing and very impressed with the help it brought.

Disappointed with the lingering pain and weight bearing, he treated my hip, then came back in to add a few more needles to encourage the flow of energy (two in my toe and one in my cheek). Aaaaaaaand one more appointment.

Appointment #10: Final Progress Report;
Function: 70% improvement
Pain: same level, but easier to deal with
Weight Bearing: much worse, but at least it's acknowledged now
PTSD: 90% improvement
Hip: most of the problem is the joint itself, which causes pain down my IT band and across my lower back
Knee: is a mess and holds 1st place for much of my weight bearing problems, the patella and surrounding muscles are most of the problem or at least causing the most of the problem: poor tracking. He gave me a new exercise to hopefully with that
Ankle: much worse than I thought it was; I now believe most of the pain below my knee is caused by my ankle shooting pain up, and the foot wants to drop, but the pain spikes if I let it out of the flexed position... and I think it just barely wins out for 2nd place in the weight bearing problems

Beyond all that, my shoulder is doing much better since I was able to find where the pain actually is and I noticed that my neck is less stiff (or less likely to get stiff), but lower back was getting stiff. He decided to focus on my lower back this time, and also added a few to my hip in the hopes that would help the still lingering shooting pains. He asked me to report anything to my primary when I go in for my checkup, then asked if I had any questions.... I immediately confirmed that I could start getting myself back into sports!

My six week program turned into 3 months and I'm glad I did it. The pain is still there, but at least I now know exactly where it is and what is causing it, making it a little easier to deal with.... also I'm not going to mess up even more with the unnatural gait I had developed or walking without assistance when I shouldn't be. A week out from my last appointment, I'm afraid I was right in believing this wouldn't be a permanent solution (it feels more like a settle, than a backwards slide though), but it at least sets me up to be able to help the Orthopedic more than I did before. If I ever get that call.

I am able to walk much farther on my crutches than I did before (accidentally went 4 miles last night!) and not be in so much pain after. I can sit in my wheelchair without needing to adjust so often. I'm starting to wonder if I can ride my bike with both legs again. And for the last couple weeks, I've been working building my endurance back up again.

7 Dragon for Seven Demons

This is my drawing that helped so much. I made a copy of it and gave it to my doctor, he was so excited he practically ran out of the room to show the nurse and have her find somewhere to put it. I still have the original up in my room and it's been a great reminder that my dragons (my fight) are stronger than the demons... depression has been a constant for me since I was a kid, sometimes I just deal with it better than other times. I just never had something tangent to help me out of the dark.