I prefer to reflect, which led me to realize my circle has moved in tighter once again and I hardly even noticed this time. I also realized that it really is my fault that this happened. My fault because I changed. I grew. I stopped trying to fit myself to the image others wanted me to be. By the end of 2015, I had decided to let go of everything and everyone that was toxic, to figure out what would make me happy again. And it seems that I was rather successful at this.
For the first time in many years, I have decided who I was and fought against the boxes some were trying to fit me into.. gravitating towards those that simply love me for being me. I backed away from those that kept putting up those walls, trying to trap me in, but giving up when they realized I had escaped their grasp. And simply couldn't be bothered to stay in one spot long enough to catch up with me.
I realized this because I do still have contact with some, just not the same relationship as before, and I noticed how the same they still were. The difference was me; I didn't agree with them, I didn't think their jokes were funny anymore, I didn't like their attitude, and I had no desire to start a conversation.
I grew up being controlled by everyone around me and trying to please others while not expecting it for myself, so I easily fall into that type of relationship. It's too natural for me and I don't realize it until it's too late. So I'm very proud that my natural state this year was to stay away from those types of people. To quietly back away and let them find someone else for their box. Someone else to be who they needed, so I could do the same.
And thank you to all of you that simply skip down the road with me and/or let me do my own thing, encouraging the simple joys I'm able to afford myself in the hopes that I spread that same joy to those around me.
Ah yes, this day was FULL of skipping!!! <3
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