I've heard various versions of that question since I started training for my first half marathon back in 2005. My knee was a problem from the beginning, but also the reason I had signed up in the first place. I continued because I was part of something bigger... fundraising for the American Heart Association, volunteering, and simply being an advocate for pushing past your limits. More importantly, I did it because I could. I spent so much time not participating because I was told I couldn't do it, I was encouraged to sit out, and I still ended up with a second surgery.
Cue rebellion.
So when the cane, crutches, and wheelchair joined my daily life, that rebellion grew. Society sees mobility aids and immediately says you can't. And so for the last six years, I have tried everything, every sport, that has been presented to me. I won't sit on the sidelines anymore because I want to play. I want the stories. And I'm still part of something bigger than myself. Still an advocate for pushing past your limits, I am now one of the many faces that represent adaptive athletes. And that's my why.
Recently, a new question was added in: Why don't you stop? What would happen if you just stopped?
Complete and total breakdown, physically and mentally. Depression/anxiety would take over, my tendons would get tighter, my shoulder would get worse to the point of not working, my stomach would be a complete mess, I'd lose the strength that I fight to hold onto every day. That list is just what I know for sure, I'm afraid of what else could be lurking in the background.
Activity simply keeps me healthy. Yes, it hurts, but the hurt is a lot less than what it could be.. plus it's the kind of hurt that I've earned rather than feeling like I got hit by a truck just because I opened my eyes.
photo credit to my awesome coach!
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