Let's just be clear..

I've been fielding comments and congratulations on my improvements from physical therapy and how great it is that I'm getting better.... and, while I appreciate it, I just want to clear something up.

And I mean this in the most positive way possible. Improvements are fluid in my little chronic illness/pain/whatever world and I am not. getting. better.

Physical therapy has simply given me more options. That's not to say I have all the options every day, I just have a bigger general list. So if you see me standing one day, it just means I can stand that day or maybe even that moment. If you see me walking, it just means I can walk that day or I'm stubbornly forcing my leg to walk for my chosen reason that day.. and I'm going to pay for it for a couple days after. And when you see me in my wheelchair, it does not mean I'm getting worse, it just means I've crossed off the other options or simply just didn't want to walk. Walking is freakin exhausting; I have to think hard to make my leg work right, it's not used to much walking anymore, and I have to reassure myself that I can do it the whole time. So some days it could also be my brain that needs the break. Especially when I don't have someone walking next to me telling me how awesome I am and how strong my leg is.. feel free to be that person if you see me walking!

And I am not getting better in that I have not been fully diagnosed yet; even when I do, I have already been diagnosed with chronic conditions. Those don't go away. I can get stronger, I can get faster, I even have a goal of possibly getting through a 5K again, but I can still get slapped down with a bad flare (increased symptoms for an indefinite amount of time). A flare can knock me back for a day or for months... I even had to start completely over a few years ago.

Luckily, getting back up and pushing through is where I shine. Keep cheering me on through that.. don't look for the usual milestones or improvements, they don't have much meaning for me (except standing... I will always love how surprised you all look when I stand! And realize how tall I am!). Watch for when I've been quiet for a few days, then show up again like nothing happened, and give me an extra smile (I might need it!). Don't be sad when I say I haven't been feeling well, be happy that I got through it. When I say I have extra pain or I'm sick, ask if there's anything you can do... there probably isn't, but it's nice to know someone cares enough to try to make me feel better.